Dreams DO Come True!

I'll make this short and sweet.  The interviewing process for a position of Substance Abuse Counselor in Maui has taken longer than expected, but just when I thought it was halted and possibly not going to end well...I received a call from the director of the center where I will be working.

I got the job.

They have agreed to my requirements for salary and my date of availability.

I am moving to Maui on October 13, 2016!

The worst part of the deal is that I have to move there alone initially.  I have to leave my husband and children in New Mexico for 6 more weeks past my start date, but then he will fly the children to Maui in November 2016.

Dreams REALLY DO COME TRUE!

Never, ever give up hope in believing that dreams can come true and miracles really do happen.

I can't wait to put my toes in the sand and smell the ocean air, doing the job that I love most in the whole world (other than being a mommy...)

Soon, my family will be with me in Maui too. 

Now the real blogging begins...I want to share my experiences with all of you!  Perhaps, your dream of moving to Hawaii can come true too!

Aloha and Mahalo

So Many Choices...

As soon as I started applying for jobs in Hawaii, it seems that many doors where I currently live in New Mexico have suddenly opened to me.  In the past week, I have been offered three new employment opportunities and that job in Maui that I desperately sought is not a closed door, but one that is being delayed.  Apparently, I was being considered for a position when a new center on the island opens in a few months, not the center where I thought I would be working.  I am interested in working at the new center, but it was a surprise to hear that my hiring might be put on hold.  In the meantime, two job opportunities arose in my area without me sending out a single application.  I was contacted by these companies and I was offered a promotion and major salary increase at my current employer. 

Many people might say "forget Hawaii."  Many people would just gladly take the promotion and be satisfied.  I did take the promotion.  It's my second promotion at my employer in the past 8 months.  I have been doing well, but I still want to move to Hawaii.

It will only bolster my resume and give me a better chance of landing my perfect dream Hawaiian job!

It's difficult to consider new opportunities at any other locations at this time.

I still find myself having dreams of being in a warm, tropical breeze, listening to the sound of waves crashing on the beach while smelling the salty ocean air, but for now, it will have to just wait.

Life is best lived one day at a time, and today, I am happy to have received a promotion and being doing well at my current job.  I have income, food, clothing and a roof over my head.  That is plenty to be content with and thankful for...

Until next time, Aloha and Mahalo for reading my blog.

Close to A Dream

One step closer...

This week, I interviewed for a position at a substance abuse recovery center in Maui.  The interview went very well and we discussed salary requirements and starting dates. That's always a good sign.  The hiring manger told me that I must speak with the Executive Director of the site before I will be officially hired for employment.

He is supposed to call me within 3 business days of the interview. It has already been two days.  Monday will be the third business day.

My heart tells me that the job is mine.  I believe we will have a good conversation and the hiring will be final. 

Then comes the actual moving part.

We are cleaning our house today on Saturday and beginning to think about all the household items we need to sell or give away before the move. I am still working at my other position, so I have been quite busy with work lately, working 12 hour days.  When I come home, I'm too tired to think about moving, but it needs to be done.

The greatest part about this job (at least to start) is that I will start working for them from home.  I can do telehealth and provide counseling sessions to clients via Internet. I can also start completing trainings online. This will help me to make some extra money to save for our moving expenses.

It's all working out.

I just wish it was finalized.  I'm a TYPE A personality and I need everything organized, completed, finished yesterday...

Waiting is not always my strong point.

I'm so excited though.  I think our move is actually getting ready to happen.

I'll keep you posted after I talk with the executive director.  I've started thinking about logistics of how to ship my car to Hawaii from a Pacific port, such as Los Angeles.  If I can get plane tickets, first/last rent and utility deposit money, and have the money to ship my car a couple weeks ahead of my move, I will be fine. 

My husband, due to his military discharge, may be left behind for a few months.

That's ok, we'll be together in our forever home in Maui soon.

:-)

A Will and A Way

It's been a few days, and I've filled out about 20 new applications.  I've decided that somehow, some way, we are moving to Maui.  I've narrowed down the search from all of the Hawaiian islands to Maui.  I want to live in Maui...

Today, I have another interview for a substance abuse counseling position in Maui.  It would be perfect for me.  My fingers are crossed and my prayers are going up.

I have been reading that finding a job in Hawaii (any of the islands) without actually being ON the island at the time you apply can make things very difficult.  However, I have also read that working in any type of healthcare job makes a person much more marketable, and possibly will help me overcome the difficult of being hired from the mainland.

My husband has also been applying for many jobs, but his situation is a little different.  He is unsure of when he will be discharged (exactly) from the military and therefore cannot list an availability date.  I imagine this may keep him from getting a job anytime soon, but we will see!

I knew moving to Hawaii would be hard.  I knew there were challenges.  We have only been trying for less than a month to really find employment, but like with any job search, this one is already getting annoying.

I have never liked the whole process of filling out applications, having to list the same information over and over and over, even when I have a perfectly good resume and cover letter to attach.  It seems highly redundant, but it's absolutely worth the effort when the right job comes along.  I looked for several months before I landed my current position.  I love where I work, it's just not in Hawaii.  That's the only problem.  My company has no facilities on Maui, or I would just transfer there and save all the trouble.

Last night, I dreamed of telling my boss that I was giving my notice of resignation.  Maybe it's a sign of how this interview will go today, or maybe it's my brain just wishfully thinking about moving again.  I've been having other dreams.

My brain is entirely focused on this move. 

I've been told more than a few times in the past month...YOU ARE CRAZY.  People constantly ask, "Do you know that it's expensive to live in Hawaii?" 

Uh no...I don't...just kidding.  Of course I DO!  I know how crazy this all seems, and I know that many people probably think we are going out there to sink ourselves financially.  They look at me with half-cocked eyes and just take a deep breath. 

One of my neighbors finally said something positive.  She said, yes it's expensive, but it's MAUI.  What if you go there and you have to figure things out for awhile, but you get to live on MAUI.  What if you go somewhere else and just settle and end up miserable?  Will it be worth it, just to save some money? 

My husband and I both have excellent education and experience in technical and highly-demanded fields. He works with electrical/mechanical systems and I am a counselor.  We are not looking for hotel front desk jobs or to become waiters (not that there's anything wrong with that), but we are looking at better paying jobs.  We won't go if we can't pay our bills.  Period.

I probably watched too many tv shows about Hawaii living.  The man said, "You don't have to be rich to live in Hawaii, you just have to want it."  Well, WE WANT IT.

I believe that man.  I believe where there is a WILL, there is a WAY.

Breaking the News to Family

I really don't know what is happening to us...we have gone a little mad.  All I thought about 24/7 yesterday was moving to Hawaii.  It was the main topic of conversation in our family.  My husband has been finding great jobs to apply for, and he said he is getting very excited.  He is not usually one to show much excitement about anything, regardless of how great.  Since we've been married, I've rarely seen him excited about anything at all, except the birth of our children.  That was very exciting to him.

When asked about what he dreams for his future, he will simply say one thing..."I always wanted to have a family and be a good husband."  He told me again yesterday that his career is second (always) to being a great father and husband.  This has always been true in our marriage and family. 

I am a blessed woman to have married this kind of man.  He loves us dearly.  When I told him yesterday how excited I was about moving to Hawaii, a giant smile spread across his face and he said, "Well, we're going then!" 

I truly believe he feels that life exists to make me happy.  Not in the "I'm crazy controlling and take advantage of my husband kind of way", but just because he loves me.

We decided yesterday that WE ARE GOING.

Eventually, a door will open and we will make our way there.  Once we get there, we will never leave.  This is our grand plan.

Yesterday, I finally broke the news to my parents that we are earnestly seeking to get jobs and move to Hawaii (probably Maui). My parents have always been negative at times, or maybe just very realistic, about our moving and our dreaming.  They tend to bring us back down to earth and hash out the little details, showing us why our wild adventures are not a good idea.  I love them, but sometimes, their realism is just a little too much. :-)

Yesterday, I decided...it's time to tell them what we are planning when my hubby leaves the military.  It's been a question in our families' minds because secretly they all want us to move home (home for my husband is deep south and my family is from the western side of the US).  These are not "home" locations for us to consider. 

We have our own dream, our own "home." 

My mom's response to divulging our plans was most surprising.  She said, "How exciting!  Keep us posted on what happens next."  She then said she would come visit us.  My husband duly noted that he has the feeling that she believes it will never really happen, and therefore, may not be threatened by the possibility.  It's just a dream, nothing more. 

I got the feeling that she may have finally been supportive.  She knows that my career is in a good place, we will have plenty of funds and employment (before we go) and this is an excellent time to take the plunge.

At least, that's what I told myself as I drifted off to sleep.  We WILL go.  As my husband said, WE ARE GOING. We'll just have to wait for our golden opportunity.

Researching the Islands of Hawaii

Yesterday, I think I hit the peak of my Hawaii frenzy.  I applied for three more positions on the island of Maui.  The other positions I've been looking at were on the Big Island of Hawaii.  I have a friend who lives on Maui and absolutely loves it.  I have another one who lived there for several years and recently moved back to the mainland.  They have never had a single negative word to say about making the decision to move to Maui.  They have said that it's different than the mainland.  We know.  We've lived on a more remote island in the Pacific Ocean than Maui. 

Island living is DIFFERENT. That is for sure! 

This morning, I had a good talk with my children about the possibility of moving to Maui.  Lord willing, if the door opens, we will be going soon.

We know that we will be moving away from New Mexico, one way or another.  My husband will be discharged from the military and we will be moving.  New Mexico has been nice.  The Hatch green chilies are amazing.  I will miss some things about New Mexico.  I've missed parts of every place we've lived before. 

This move is different.  We don't plan to be moving anymore after we land in our final resting spot.  We are looking for our "forever home," a place to raise our kids, enjoy our family life, seek God and give back to others.  We want to live in a place where we feel that we are "at home."

Island living is for us.  It may not be for you. 

Despite the charm of the Aloha spirit, things move at a slower pace than on the mainland.  I remember waiting and waiting in Guam for appointments to actually start, and a few times, the person we were meant to see didn't show up at all.  We had to just say "Hafa Adai"--the saying in Guam for everything that just kinda meant "oh well, life is good."

Yes, the gas is expensive.  However, yesterday I was pleasantly surprised to see that a Costco exists on the island of Maui and is selling gas for $2.35/gallon!  That would be have a dream for us when we lived on Guam. I love Costco and with a large family such as ours, this will save us a lot of money.  I have researched the prices, and although slightly higher than mainland, we may not have a heart attack EVERY time we visit the grocery store.  I remember in Guam that commissary was closed for one day per week and we HAD to go "off base" to get groceries if needed.  Even "on base" the groceries were HIGH.  Off base meant we just had to suck-it-up buttercup and pay the price of being ill-prepared.

We quickly learned through a couple of these trips that planning is KEY to survival while island living.  As I noticed also in the news yesterday, a tropical storm Darby was about to hit Maui and Big Island.  We know about this too.  My husband is from the deep south (New Orleans--Katrina, anyone?) and he knows a thing or two about these "tropical storms."  When we moved to Guam, I was 6 1/2 months pregnant and when I was 39 weeks pregnant, we had a typhoon rolling into our back door. I had to leave my children with the neighbors next door while my husband bravely went out into the storm and secured generators.  I had to go spend the night at the hospital because the typhoon might prevent me from getting there in the event that the baby made his arrival during the storm.

We have done island living, at its best and worst.  All in all, it was TOTALLY WORTH IT!

I think living on Guam really has prepared us to move to Hawaii, Maui, Kauai or Oahu.  At this point, I think we'd definitely prefer Maui or Big Island, with Kauai being next and then Oahu. I LOVE Kauai and went there as a teenager (where I caught the bug to move back), but I don't know if moving there is for us right now.  I haven't applied for a single job in Kauai yet, but I do love it there and want to visit once we live in the Hawaiian islands. Maui seems to have the hometown country feel that we desire (we would want to live Upcountry) and Big Island has diversity in geography that are not found anywhere else.  You can visit the beach and a volcano with snow in a single day.  We think that's pretty amazing. There are some really good schools for the kids on Maui (and we know people there), so those are major positive points for moving to Maui.  Plus, the three new jobs I applied for are on the island of Maui. 

I think Maui would definitely become my #1 choice, at this point.

I have been reading, and reading, and reading about culture on the different islands...doing my due diligence, as my previous interviewer told me.

I think when we look at cost of living, education, geography, culture, "the feel" of the island, job opportunities and overall lifestyle, Maui is the ticket.

Now, I just need a job.  My husband is skilled and has 6 months to a year to find a job there, while I live on the island with the kids (if necessary).  I'm going out ahead, adventuring forward, and it's an amazing feeling.

Now, if only the first door will open.  We will go.

Living there becomes more about who you're with and what you do in your off-time than what you can do to buy more stuff, or achieve more success.  The success we seek is simply being there with our family, enjoying our lives together and having enough money to pay the bills.  Money and success in mainland way are something of the past.  That's EXACTLY why we want to move there forever.

God Will Make a Way

Before I became a professional counselor, I was in Christian ministry for 8 years. I spent time doing volunteer ministry and paid ministry, being a servant and a leader (which should still be a servant). I was very active in a prayer ministry in Guam and have held many different positions in the church in the past decade.

I'm about to get a little serious with you.  One major reason we desire to move to Hawaii is because we believe God is doing a great work there. Many years ago, I was praying with a friend when I had an overwhelming sense of God's presence and felt His heart toward the Hawaiian islands. Even in paradise, there is great struggle and suffering, homelessness and hopelessness, violence and substance abuse. 

There is no perfect paradise on this earth.  The Garden of Eden is hidden from us and we live in a dying and corrupt world.  Enough seriousness for ya?

I just felt like getting real with you this morning. 

I want to go to Hawaii and bring hope to those who are suffering in paradise.  Not everyone lives in a mansion by the sea or drinks out of little coconut cups all day.  There are real problems there.  Crime, drugs, domestic violence, child abuse.  As a counselor, my heart is drawn toward helping those that are suffering in life. 

I currently work at an acute psychiatric hospital, as mentioned in previous posts.  I work with the most severe patients in the hospital.  I work with patients who have absolutely no sense of hope or motivation to live anymore, or they want to kill others, or they believe they are not human or even hailed from this planet.  These are my people, day in and day out. 

These people exist in Hawaii, and Bali, Fiji and the most beautiful and amazing places in the world.

The place you live in will not be your ultimate happiness, regardless of how amazing it may be. 

I have peace regardless of where I live, or where I go, because I have faith in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.  Since one fateful day, June 10, 2007, I have been at peace in my soul.  I know that I am forgiven for the many, many things I have done wrong in my life and I live with a sense of hopeful and joyful expectation that THE BEST IS YET TO COME!

I'm being honest because our adventure to Hawaii is not just our own dream.  It is where we feel God is leading, calling and drawing us.  He has placed a dream in our hearts and the Bible says to commit your way to the Lord, trust in Him, and He will establish your plans (Psalm 37:5).

We are committing our way to the Lord.  We do trust Him in all things.  We know He will make it come to pass.

#spiritual moment

PSALM 37:5 (KJV)
Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

Island Fever--The Good Kind!

When we lived on the island of Guam, we became accustomed to "island fever." 

People always said that you would not know how you do on the island until you've been there long enough to get island fever.  We saw some major freaking out happen due to this strange phenomenon.

The sad part about island fever is that people go crazy and divorce their spouses, spend all their money, drive endless circles around the island, get an expensive hobby, travel beyond their means, drink too much alcohol, use drugs and become adulterous.

It's real, that's for sure.  We have seen its nasty effects.

You're probably thinking--this blog post title seems misleading.  It's true, island fever can be rough.  I'm thankful that we had a touch of it while living on Guam, but we never allowed it to destroy our home or family.  We never allowed it to keep us from making good decisions.

It's definitely something to think about if you plan to live on island permanently.  Maybe take an extended vacation (one month or more) to an island and see how it affects you before cashing in your retirement and moving there!

We've done it and we know how to handle it...at least we hope we do!

The kind of island fever I'm discussing in this post is the fever you get to move to an island, such as Hawaii, Maui, Kauai, Oahu, or any other island...really anywhere...

I liken this feeling to "baby fever" where you want to have a baby so badly that you feel like you're going to die if you don't have one SOON.

My husband and I experienced infertility and we also know a thing or two about baby fever.

He says I still have it, even though we probably won't be having any more children.

Maybe, instead of baby fever, I have island fever (the good kind)...I have Hawaii fever.  Yep, I just made that term up.

HAWAII FEVER...

It's got a nice ring to it.  Well, I have it.  My kids have it.  And now...my husband has caught it.  The first thing he said when coming home from work today (by the way, it was 106 degrees today in NM) is "Guess what babe?  I applied for like 4-5 more jobs in Hawaii today."  He hasn't even received any final word on when his medical discharge from the military will be finalized, but he's applying for jobs...IN HAWAII.

It's contagious and we absolutely love having it.

Moving to Hawaii really is our greatest adventure yet to date.  We're ready and we're excited, but waiting to have our dreams come true is still kinda tough. 

The Hawaii experience...

I'm just going to live this right here...

For those of you who have been to Hawaii (as I have), looking at this picture invokes memories of sight, smell, touch, hearing and taste, all at once.

I can see the beautiful, rich, vibrant colors of the sunsets from the lanai as the sun seems to burn its way into the aqua green water of the sea. The orange, pink, purple, red, silver and white blending together like a perfect masterpiece.

I can smell the tropical fragrances of plumeria and pineapple, mixed with salty ocean air and some surf wax, the unique smell of wet sand and sunscreen (Hawaiian tropic, maybe?).  Or maybe an evening beach BBQ with roast pork and pineapples and other exotic fruits.

I can feel the sand between my toes.  Although my husband loathes this feeling, I love it.  I can feel the cool, yet perfectly warm, ocean water, the waves breaking at my knees.  I can feel the warm breeze blowing on my face and my toes peeking out from my flip flops (slippers, if I may). Never needing a heavy winter coat for the snowy days, because there aren't any, unless you're atop Mauna Kea on the Big Island of Hawaii.

Even though I can't touch it, I can feel the Aloha spirit...

But snow is there, just in case you have a day where you want to reminisce about the freezing mainland winters.  You go, touch the snow, and go to the beach in the same day.

I can hear the birds calling just off shore, and I pretend to hear the singing of a whale in the distance (although I clearly could not), and the slow, but sweet sound, of a ukulele playing a traditional Hawaiian song, or maybe accompanying a Sunday church hymn. I can hear the sound of feet moving down the street, not too fast, but moving to places enjoying the trip along the way.  It's island time, and nobody is going anywhere in a big hurry. 

It's about enjoying your life, your family, your friends...and all the experiences you'll have today. 

I can taste the coconut in my food and the poke I had last night, fresh and delicious.  I can taste the Kona coffee, world famous, in my cup this morning with a hint of macadamia nuts.

It's the good life...

If I keep pressing forward today, it may bring me one step closer to this amazing place that God has created for you and me.

A New Day...Another Job

I have a confession.

Despite my positivity...or possibly lack thereof...I spent my day never making it out my pajamas.

Thankfully, today is my day off.

Tomorrow, I return to my regular job.  I have been thinking that I have a real love-hate relationship with job hunting.  There is a rush of excitement in filling out the application with hopes that I might get a response, an interview, or even make a change in my career.  I have always had the spirit of an adventurer, ever since I was a small child.  My parents loved to move.  My dad had a wild spirit too.  We moved 14 times before I left for college.  At just 17 years old, I moved to a different state to attend college away from home.  I wasn't even old enough to sign my own documents, but I had a dorm and a car, and a bank account. I didn't care that the world didn't classify me as "adult" quite yet.

I ran into a couple of problems for the first two months of college before I turned 18.  There were some papers to be signed the first week and I had to mail them home and wait for them to return.  That ruined my buzz of being "adult" and "on my own."

If you look at my resume, I have a few too many jobs.  I really should slow down in life and just learn to smell the roses (where I'm already at, of course).

Fortunately, or unfortunately, I married a man with the same spirit of adventure.  We have three little adventurous children who racked up enough frequent flyer miles by age five to travel across the world on a free ticket.  Yep, that's us.

Now, we ARE going to Hawaii.  One way or another.  I have my heart, mind and pure obsession set on going.  We ARE going.  Somehow, some way...someday.

Of this, I am sure.

Oh yeah, remember in previous posts how I said I'm a professional counselor.  I was once told by my supervisor that all counselors have to be "just a little bit crazy" to do what we do.  Well, I work inpatient psychiatry, so I'm a LOT of crazy.  I once had a guy chase me down the hall with the drawer from his bedroom nightstand, telling me "RUN!" and I just promptly obeyed.  It didn't scare me.  That's the moment I knew I was in the right profession, and the right place.  At least...the right profession and the right KIND of place, just in the WRONG place...wrong state...or maybe just wrong state of mind...who knows at this point.

Ok, now I'm really rambling.

So, back to me in my pajamas.  What did I do today--with my precious time off work?  I looked for work on a far away island.  All day.

I updated my already spotless resume that my resume builder program www.myperfectresume.com calls a "Superstar" resume.  Yep, that's me.  Superstar...looking for a job...in Hawaii.

Well, I think I may have found one.  Again.  This time, it's even closer to be in my actual wheelhouse of experience.

Mental Health Professional III. That's me.  A pro-fess-ion-al...at mental health.

I must have spent a good hour and a half applying for that *stupid* job.

Maybe there's a hint of resentment building up in me.  Why does this dream have to take so long?  Why does it have to be so hard to find a stinking' job in Hawaii?  Maybe because EVERYBODY wants to go there.

Stop it.  It's my turn.

It's like when you've been sitting a red light, for what seems like FOREVER, and nobody will let you in.  

Waiting for My Hawaii Dream to Come True...

Well...I interviewed yesterday with the County of Hawaii prosecuting attorney's office. 

I knew it would be a phone interview, as I had not purchased an $800+ ticket to Hawaii overnight.  What I didn't expect was FIVE interviewers over speakerphone.

Not only was I intimidated by the sheer number of those asking me increasingly complex questions, but my phone decided not to work correctly during the exact time I was hoping all my dreams would come true.

All in all, it was not a "bad" interview, but it could have gone better...

Have you ever felt that way?  The lack of definitive statements or even follow up questions made me nervous about the eventual outcome of the position for me.

Maybe I WON'T be running off into the Hawaiian sunset...or at least not yet.

I haven't heard back from them yet (one day later) and my heart is pounding with nervous energy.  I've been reworking my entire financial budget, working it from entirely new angles, just in hopes that I might be reliant upon my new fiscal restructuring in the near future.

I have never wanted to move to Hawaii more than I do RIGHT NOW.

Without sounding cliché, the suspense is killing me.

Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da (Jeopardy song annoying plays in my head).

I've also cleaned my kitchen and probably been a little too irritated with the minor things that my children are doing to each other. Normally these little things wouldn't even bother me.

My youngest son, age 6, walks up to me and says, "Mommy, did they get you the job?"  I told him, "I'm not sure yet, they didn't say if I was getting the job or not."

To which he precociously (and wisely) replied, "We should just not get the job and go anyway."

Oh...to live in the blissful mind of a 6 year old.  What a GREAT idea, son!  Let's GO!

Back to reality...that's the only place I'm going today.  As I stare at my meager budget that probably isn't fat enough, or deep enough in resources, to really support a comfortable Hawaii life...I realize that New Mexico may be my home for a while longer.

I have a perseverant spirit.  I am not giving up that easily.  Perhaps, they will call me and ask me to come to Hawaii very soon.  There were parts of the interview that seemed very promising and I do have great qualifications and excellent references.  Every director that I've worked under in the past 10 years is on my reference list, ready to send me away into the sunset and help me make my dreams come true.

All I need now is one little phone call with a positive response.

Waiting...

(Meanwhile, pulling up new job listings in Hawaii for counseling positions...do any of you have any connections?)

The Hawaii Adventure Begins...

In June 2016, I finished a master's degree in Professional Counseling after 5 long years of graduate school (that was supposed to take 3 years)!  After many stops and starts and a husband serving on active duty in the military, moving 5 times in 12 years and 19 times in 33 years...I was ready to find a home.  At the time of my graduation, I found myself dreaming of where we would finally call HOME.

Home in military life is a very subjective word.

Home is where the heart is...home is where the military sends...home is where your family is...home is what you make of it...

These are all common sayings I hear in military communities.  Home.  We all dream about it but until the wild ride of military service is over. home is an elusive concept.

Home for us has been in Arizona, Guam, Colorado, Texas, New Mexico and Oklahoma...to date.

Home has often been picked up and moved in a short period of time, changing living room furniture, dinnerware, cell phone numbers, addresses, schools, friends and rearranging our entire life every time the military says GO.

Over the past 5 years, I have spent times in tears, longing for a home but knowing that it would be another decade before finally settling somewhere.

Everything changed for us in January of this year.  My husband had just completed his third surgery of the year, two surgeries on his legs and one that broke his jaw in four places.  It had been a rough preceding year.  My husband's body just hasn't been holding out for all the physical exercise that the military requires and his legs have been causing excruciating pain over the past decade.  He has always just "sucked it up" and done his job, faithfully serving his country.

Our goal was for him to finish military service, retire and move somewhere warmer and more relaxing.  We lived on the island of Guam for 3 years and felt like it was heaven on earth.  The only problem is that it's a 24 hour trip from our families and way too expensive for the whole family to fly back and forth more than every few years.  It was difficult being so far away from home.  We turned out sights to possibly "retiring" in Hawaii.

We often joked about it.  We would say, MAYBE just MAYBE we'll somehow end up there.  It will take an act of God, but MAYBE we could.  After all, we have paid $8.00 for a gallon of milk before and with the right circumstances, it would be totally worth it to do it again!

We have been dreaming for many years...

In January of this year, the military gave my husband some shocking (yet not so shocking) news.  He was going to be involuntarily medically discharged from active duty after going through the medical board process.  He was told the day he returned to work after having his jaw surgery (one of the worst medical procedures I could imagine) that the military said would keep him from being "med-boarded."

With his jaw still banded shut and barely being able to speak coherently, his supervisor informed him that while he was out on leave, they put him in for a med board.

Typical military standard mode of operation.

Our first response was absolute anger and frustration.

WHY?  After all these years and broken promises, uprooting our lives, moving our stuff, leaving everyone and everything we cared about...why now?  Why can't they just look the other way, ignoring the fact that he can't run anymore and his jaw is broken and just let us live out the rest of our military life in peace?

Ok, now I'd lost touch with reality.

I was just mad.  With 5 months left of my counseling internship, what would we do next?

I hadn't even started my career yet because every time I got close to starting, we had to move again.

It felt like it was happening all over again.

I had been fortunate enough to land a great internship with a company that owns 220 mental health hospitals around the world...a fortune 500 company with an amazing reputation, and then I got hired after just 4 months of unpaid internship...way ahead of other interns working there.  My career was off to a great start.  Now it was time to leave again.

In June 2016, I finished my master's degree program.  Since January, I have been looking for jobs and considering my current company as a permanent option.  The catch is that I didn't want to drive 2 hours each day to work and back anymore.  The commute alone has taken so much time away from my family and working 10-14 hour days (plus commute) means I barely see them at all!  At one point during the past year, my middle son (9 years old) turned to me and said, "Mom, you're never here anymore."

I went to my bathroom and sobbed hard, trying to keep my crying low so my kids wouldn't hear my broken heart pouring out onto the bathroom floor.  It was a very low moment in my life.  Yes, my career was going well, but what had my life become?  An endless race without enough time with my family...and for what...to make money?

I struggled to go back to work the next day, but I had to get myself together and just go.  I remembered how my husband had been "sucking it up" for almost a decade and I decided, I just have to go...it doesn't matter how I feel about it.

In the midst of all this, the doctor told my husband that maybe he wouldn't have to get out of the military after all.  They could make some special concessions for him.  He is highly decorated and a great service member.  We cooled our jets about leaving.

Two weeks ago, after he met with the doctors yet again, I got a sudden urge to begin to look for a job closer to home.  As I searched local job listings, my mind and heart began to wander toward something less realistic and more exciting.  Home outside the military.  Home away from here (New Mexico--not that NM is bad, but it's not our forever home).

I decided, on a whim, to look for jobs in Hawaii...thinking WHY NOT?

I'm already losing my mind, why not Hawaii?  I had applied for jobs in Hawaii about a year ago during a moment of military related insanity and been promptly denied interviews by every single company that I heard back from.

As I searched, one job caught my eye--Victim/Witness Counselor."  It asked for someone with experience giving trauma-informed counseling to victims of crimes with excellent case management skills working with a very difficult population.  I remembered my 14 hour days at the psychiatric hospital and realized that 90-100% of my patients had been victimized by trauma and treating trauma has actually become an area of specialization for me, and especially an area of great interest for future practice.  I also realized that most of my patients had, in some way, been victims of crimes.  During our initial assessments, this is one of the questions and the "yes" responses are overwhelming.  It asked for someone with experience working with those who are involved with the criminal justice system...again, the answer is yes, I do have experience with this.

As I sat, staring at the screen, I thought "I'm actually well qualified for this position...more than some others for sure."  When my husband came home that night, I asked him if he thought I was crazy for even wanting to apply.  He said "If you don't apply, you'll never know what could happen."

I'm writing this blog post a little presumptively...my interview with the State of Hawaii is tonight...via phone.

I have a good feeling that I'm well qualified for the job and it's a good chance they will offer it to me.

I talked with my interviewer on the phone once already and we've hashed out a few important preliminary questions and it seems to be a good fit.

Who knows, could the great Hawaii adventure of a lifetime begin tonight?  I guess we'll find out after 6 pm.  I've already worked out the logistics of the whole thing in my super Type-A fashion and I think it will actually work if they say YES.  I'll have to leave my husband behind and take the kids with me for an indeterminate amount of time, but he tells me that he is completely ON BOARD and has encouraged me to take this great job opportunity and just GO!

We can do this...

I'll give you all an update tomorrow...if we get the green light, tomorrow is the real start of the greatest adventure of our lives.